RE-WIND: Fringe Comic Thinks He's STILL Cunning

Originally written Aug. 11, 2017 (an enterprise story for a study abroad journalism program)

The comic took several steps stage right to drink from his bottle of Magners Cider resting on a barstool. He plays with his wispy facial hair, turning back to continue his three-step stroll back to the space cluttered with wiring. Although the microphone chord rests on top of his shoes, the comic never trips over it, aware of it as he is the tone his jokes take on and the responses he’s come to expect from audiences.

Through his routine, the man with the black hat breaks down social issues by presenting his solutions to them. He just solved poverty by creating a bartering economy with hugs as a currency.

“But I don’t like being touched,” said stand-up comedian Ashley Haden on the basement stage of London’s Museum of Comedy. “So even in [this reality], I’m still poor!”

Haden was previewing his latest show, "We Are STILL All C*nts", in the museum’s underground showroom on July 30. The following week, he and his comedy companions would journey to Scotland for the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Within an hour, Haden criticized the British Right, Left, today’s overuse of “Orwellian” and even Cromwellians. He suggested a more emotionally inhumane alternative to Prime Minister Theresa May’s revival of hunting heartbroken foxes. The audience even learned a few new shades when presented with a color-coded system for rape "allowance", Haden’s response to a widely-critiqued tabloid's publishing about the “gray areas of rape.”

A sequel to last year’s show We Are All C*nts - which BroadwayBaby.com found to be “aptly named” - Haden continues commenting on the grim future developing around current events while pointing a finger at them and choosing to laugh at some of the worst of them. The title references our status in the grand scheme of things to these events.

“For my act, I like to think it is honest, my jokes stem from things that happen in the world, be it a bombing in the Middle East or a new policy from the government,” Haden wrote in an email, commenting on the “dark[ness] of his material". “All I am doing is highlighting what is happening to people who may not want to hear it all the time.”

He analogizes the various reactions to world events through the onlookers of a hypothetical bus crash: one layer goes out to respond, the next layer photographs and records the event, another layer ponders even taking a picture and a layer like Haden sits there thinking “s***, that’s my bus.”

Unlike rehearsed observational or character driven comedy, political humour changes day by day. Punchlines wait on the outcomes of elections. The inclusion of recent statistics make a fun math game out of an ironic word problem. Sometimes the politicians write the jokes themselves. It is essential for political comedians to put in the effort to stay current.

“I consider my act to have a touch of the pseudo-journalism to it,” Haden said. “Every bit of my material is researched, as I want to make sure that I am speaking correctly.”

Today’s comedians are finding themselves in similar territory as journalists. In the United States, the lines are blurred as programming like Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (formerly Jon Stewart) and HBO’s Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (originally from England) research and cover stories the mainstream media overlook. Keep in mind these shows have writing staff and resources at their disposal.

“I wish it wasn’t [the cause] but Brexit has caused me to do a lot of research on Europe, and the workings of the EU,” Haden said.

While John Oliver tries his best not to talk about Trump on his half-hour comedy news show, Haden looks for details that “are left by the way side” in the post-Brexit narrative. Through his independent research, he found the UK “dropped 12 places in 5 years on the Press Freedom Index…[and] on the children’s rights index [the UK] fell 111 places.”

The Guardian article from April Haden references ranks the UK 40 out of 180 countries, according to the World Press Freedom Index (WPFI). British lawmakers have been pushing to maximize jail sentences for whistleblowers to 14 years and include investigative journalism work in the definition of espionage, the latter a claim Prime Minister May denies.

For comparison, Norway, Sweden and Finland are top three on the WPFI, the U.S. is 43 and North Korea is dead last.

In May, the Independent cited the KidsRights Index’s ranking system stating the UK went from 11 to 156 in the world for children’s rights protection. The index “assesses countries’ commitments to children’s rights relative to available resources.” The Index found “industrialized nations were falling short of allocating sufficient budgets towards creating a stable environment for children’s rights.”

That’s 34 places more than Haden’s research yielded. For comparison, Tunisia and Thailand among the top 10 countries on the list while the UK and New Zealand are in the bottom 10.

As Haden puts it, “our rights are being removed.”

“We would have fallen further if it wasn’t for how s*** most of the rest of the world is…but these types of things tend to be ignored,” Haden said.

Like any real journalist, Haden tries his best not to let his bias show.

“Look at the UKIP logo: it’s a pound sign! They only care about money!” Haden said in his act, attacking the UK Independence Party, a right-wing Eurosceptic political group.

For Haden, “attacking both sides is a must.”

“We are currently in a world where people do not want to be seen as wrong, they are scared of being wrong, so if someone points out facts to them that go against their opinion, they will more than likely double down on their views instead of actually changing them.”

“Too many political comedians in the world only go after one side, but that helps with the confirmation bias already shoved down people’s throats... I personally look at both sides and do not see a place that I would be happy in on either.”

In a post-Brexit era, Haden grows especially frustrated with the inaction of government officials, an all too familiar feeling for Americans.

“We always expect politicians to lie but the year or so has been amazing; Brexit is the biggest culprit of this,” he said. “We now have the leaders of both main parties putting their heads in the sand over what is one of the biggest decisions this country has ever made.”

“We all saw [how inspirational] Team Refugee was [in the 2016 Olympics],” Haden said, the crowd awaiting a darker than black turn in this joke. “Probably a good recruitment [tool] for other countries: oh, we need a high jumper and a javelin.”

The crowd sighed with relief.

A creative type, it is Haden’s job to push the boundaries of topics in his own style while adhering to the tasteful limitations he has set up.

“I do not believe that there is a subject that cannot be tackled. But it has to be funny…When people are doing obvious observation jokes, the jokes do not need to be as good as say doing a joke about a 7-year-old suicide bomber.”

Stand-up comedy is an experience shared between comics and audiences. A good amount of trust is gifted to the comedian, giving him a fair chance to either say something funny or say something intriguing.

“You also need to make sure an audience is aware that you have the ability to deal with these subjects,” Haden said. “When I first started out, I wasn’t good enough to do difficult subjects justice.”

Moments after verbalizing what is his own catharsis to a room of strangers, Haden orders for one of his three party poppers he tossed to three audience members to be popped. These so-called “pallette cleansers” are supposed to lighten the mood between bits, which Haden does so in his own dark fashion.

“You cannot write a show for everyone, so what you have to make sure is that you have a point to why you are saying things,” Haden said. “Just trying to offend is pointless. Because you don’t know what will offend people.”

Ashley Haden is currently performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Scotland and tickets can be bought here and be on the lookout for Haden’s next installment in his stand-up C*nting Trilogy.